"Fertility"

[post by katie, by the way]

I'm having trouble getting pregnant--along with all of my best friends, it seems.

What a load of sh*t does American society hand to a woman who has trouble getting pregnant. It doesn't matter how many beautiful things I create with my hands or with my mind, if I can't create something with my uterus then I'm not "fertile," not "creative," and generally a failure as wife and a woman.

Awesome.

Since this tends to be a touchy subject, and since it is highly likely that you know a woman who is having trouble getting pregnant, I decided, as a public service, to create some guidelines for my dear readers.

Here is a list of things to keep in mind when you talk to a friend who is trying to get pregnant.

1. Never tell her she should "eat more," or "fatten up," or "relax," in order to get pregnant.

2. Never tell a woman what she should do in order to get pregnant, unless you are her fertility doctor, or unless she asks you.

3. Never ask a woman who is trying to get pregnant if she is pregnant yet *over email.* This topic merits a phone call, at the very least.

4. If you know a woman is trying to get pregnant, do not ask her if she's pregnant yet. This is a crappy question. Because if she isn't pregnant, she must admit failure in order to answer your question. And if she IS pregnant, she'll tell you if she wants to--you don't need to ask.

5. If you know a woman who is trying to get pregnant (esp. if you know she is having some trouble), rather than asking her if she is pregnant yet, tell her that you are willing to listen if she wants to talk to you about the process.

6. Be prepared for tears. Better yet, welcome them.

7. If you had trouble getting pregnant, and you feel confident enough, share your experiences with others. Dispel any myths that failing to get pregnant means you are "abnormal" or a failure as a person.

Anyone out there want to add to my list? Want to share a story of a stupid thing someone said to you or near you? Want to rant? Yay!

Visual Rhetoric of Knitting

Jordynn and I talk a lot about "visual rhetoric"--a phrase in our field of research that essentially asks how images make and convey meaning.

I was thinking a lot about visual rhetoric when I picked up some vintage knitting needles and saw this packaging.

There are so many things going on in this image, I almost jumped with joy.

This pictures seems to be saying that knitting makes you beautiful, angelic, and gentle (and perhaps blond); that knitting is a meek, humble, and feminine thing to do; that good and pretty women knit.

Does anyone else think this packaging looks like a Summer's Eve label?

Knitting Travels: Gastonia, NC, and other Crafts

I've been out of town the past few days with my husband M.A.P., visiting his parents in Gastonia.

I've been wrestling with a knitting project, that must remain secret because it's off to a magazine as a submission when it's finished. I have knit and ripped this project 5 times now, which is a lot even for a trial-and-error designer like me. I had to set it down and take a walk today, and realized as I was walking that I had a bone-crunching headache--I didn't even notice the headache because I was so caught up in the project. My sister called as I was walking and I told her about the project, and she said, That doesn't sound like fun.

So true.

Question: Is knitting always supposed to be fun? If you knit a project for weeks on end and you feel frustrated, or even miserable, shouldn't you QUIT? I'm calling this knitter's angst. Has anyone else ever experienced this? What did you do to get over it?

While I've been here, I commandeered the garage and worked on some wood. A good break from yarn. Two bed-side tables that I inherited from friends, received a refinishing.

And my M.A.P., a fabulous carpenter/cabinet-maker, built custom cabinets for the laundry room we built.

That's a link to another blog I keep, where I've tracked the DIY construction work at our home. The thing is, crafting is crafting, right? So if I rehabilitate found furniture (like this) I can talk about it here, can't I? I added sewing a few posts ago, since fabric is fiber (right?). Well wood is fibrous too, isn't it? I'm kind of tired of keeping up with two blogs. Does anyone have any opinions on this? Um, like Jordynn?

My mother-in-law offered to take me to the local yarn shop one afternoon this week. It's really a yarn corner tucked into a frame shop. I bought a ball of sock yarn and some size 3 dpns (the size recommended on the ball band) but I should have bought 2s, because that's what Cookie A. always uses in her patterns. And I got to have me some of those socks.

Here's my mother-in-law shopping in the store, Things Remembered (isn't that also the name of a chain store in shopping malls?):

They have Berroco and Cascade mostly, and a few other things.

Here's my small haul:

I'm doing well keeping to my promise to support my knitting expenditures solely with knitting earnings. The paypal account looks small right now, though. I need to launch another pattern.

Coming up:
1. Durham Centerfest, where some knitting buddies and I will be selling knitting wares. If you're local come out and find us. We're called the Durham String Thing.

2. The N.C. State Fair. I'll be entering a project in the crafts category come September. (Another secret project. I hate not being able to share WIP pics on the blog.)

Why Scarves?

Okay, this is the funniest thing I've read all week.

Just think about it as you knit another scarf.

And for your sweater knitters, check out this post, too.

Dr. Fibersmart's Endorsement for President

Watching the NH primaries this evening moves me to make an endorsement.

As though this were necessary. As though it weren't obvious.

Nevertheless (drum roll) I endorse the effervescent, ineffable Barack Obama.

This man is the man.

Or at least he should be, come November.

Why we should pay college athletes

From NYTimes today, "Serfs of the Turf" by Michael Lewis:

If the N.C.A.A. genuinely wanted to take the money out of college football it’d make the tickets free and broadcast the games on public television and set limits on how much universities could pay head coaches. But the N.C.A.A. confines its anti-market strictures to the players — and God help the interior lineman who is caught breaking them. Each year some player who grew up with nothing is tempted by a booster’s offer of a car, or some cash, and is never heard from again.

Can you imagine Nebraska or Michigan or Ohio State football games on public T.V.? What a joke. There are so many issues here, including big intersections of race and class, but I don't feel like writing a treatise.

But I just can't think of one reason why we don't pay a stipend to college athletes. Waiving tuition isn't enough. I went through 12 years of higher education and learned the difference between a tuition waiver and education support. A tuition waiver doesn't help you take your girlfriend to the movies, especially if you are forbidden from having a part-time job because of your D-1 athlete status.

Although, I've never actually heard of an "interior" lineman. We always called them "inside." Whatever. Lewis still has a point.

Another Off-Yarn Post

I don't always agree with NY Times columnist Frank Rich, but I enjoyed his take on Justice Clarence Thomas and his new whine-a-rama memoir. An excerpt:

Justice Thomas, elevated by Bush 41, was the crucial building block in what will probably prove the most enduring legacy of Bush 43, a radical Supreme Court. The ''compassionate conservative'' who turned the 2000 G.O.P. convention into a minstrel show to prove his love of diversity will exit the political stage as the man who tilted American jurisprudence against Brown v. Board of Education. He leaves no black Republican behind him in either the House or Senate.

My favorite bits of this paragraph:
1. "Radical Supreme Court" = hyperrepublican, highly politicized, activist conservative judges. Warren had nothing on these guys. God bless Ginsburg.
2. Minstrel Show. No kidding. See below.
3. No black folks remain the Republican party in Congress because, well, duh. Republicans are scary.


"Minstrel Man" by Langston Hughes

Because my mouth
Is wide with laughter
and my throat
Is deep with song
You do not think
I suffer after
I have held my pain
So long?

Because my mouth
Is wide with laughter
You do not hear
My inner cry?
Because my feet
Are gay with dancing,
You do not know
I die?

Yarn Ethics

M.A.P. and I are on our honeymoon in a delightful little metropolis in the south. We stumbled upon a yarn store on our way to dinner while tromping around town, and I exclaimed, "Honey! A yarn store! Can you believe it?" and dashed inside. M.A.P. said, "I have been flim-flammed," and sat down in a chair to read Harry Potter.

I limited myself to the odd lots basket and dug out some darling Noro and mohair blends and funky Cascade, loading my shopping basket to the brim, thinking of my pregnant friend as a justification for at least half of the yarn in the basket. I called out to M.A.P. when I reached the counter, seeking his help in curbing my addiction.

Once, twice, three times I called to him. And he never came.

$111.00 later, we stood on the sidewalk; I was accompanied by buyer's remorse, M.A.P. by a rumbling stomach. I blamed him for the remorse I felt, insisting that in the ethical contraptions that shape our relationship, it is his duty to limit my spending in high-risk situations like shoe stores and yarn shops.

(Similarly, given my training as a lawyer and in the area of close-reading, and given we double-tipped the waiter at the resort restaurant last night because an 18% tip is included by the resort on all purchases and M.A.P. doesn't tend to examine receipts, it is my job to ensure that all annoying paperwork is read completely and filled out properly. See e.g. our life insurance documents.)

And he didn't fulfill his duty today. Even though I asked thrice.

Apologies were made and accepted. Shortly thereafter we stuffed our faces on half-priced appetizers at a fun little bistro and drank fruity beer.

M.A.P. then observed that it isn't like we threw the money away on the yarn--like with the double-tipping--since we did purchase worthwhile items that I will certainly turn into other, even more worthwhile items with my knitting.

Did I marry a winner, or what.

Men can be funny - who knew?

My M.A.P. and I were sitting on the couch watching our new 50" plasma television (what the heck? clearly I wasn't a part of that decision) and I was typing a blog entry. He said, "Your knitting blog is called what? Cyber Farts?"

It was an accidental slip of the tongue, actually, the transposing of the first letters of each word. But of course, now it's the preferred phrase of our household (if you are 6'3" and male).

Yes, I'm marrying a teenager, complete with oversized televisions and fart jokes.

But you know, Knitty Gritty lookes bitching on that T.V. screen -- you should see those swatch close-ups. You can actually count the gauge from across the room.

Knitty Friends

I used to have the world's best knitty friend. Her name is C. and she and I were housemates for a little while, while I was finishing my dissertation, and we would spend hours knitting--either at the bar, or on the front porch with Coronas. She taught me everything I know, really. Then, disaster struck, and she moved to Japan.

Knitting has become a solitary endeavor.

Then, last Sunday, after pulling myself from the shadowy wasteland of my bachelorette party hangover, I met a departmental colleague and another academic for a knitty time at our local over-sized bookshop's cafe. It was great. I found myself in the odd position of the person to whom questions were asked, but I didn't mind that, and we all know how the teacher can become the student.

I hope this becomes a regular thing. Wish our new fragile group luck against the forces of social inertia.

Free-Form and Knit v. Crochet

There are a few things I've discovered over the few months I've been on hiatus from this blog.

I am a free-form fiber artist. That's all there is to it. I hate following a pattern and counting stitches, and I'm most happiest when I'm knitting or crocheting an item without any pattern at all, with only an inspiration and a tape measure. When I do use a pattern, I start following with the best intentions, and then just diverge. I'm the Roberta Frost of knitting.

I read Dominitrix, and tried to take her advice, but it just didn't stick. And it's not that I don't like creating slim-fitting items or precision knits, I just like to do it differently than line-by-line patterns. I prefer a three-dimensional architectural approach.

You know how people fall into two camps when you give them directions to a place they've never been? Some just want to know when to turn right, and when to turn left. Others want to know the full picture, the cardinal directions, plus they want to see a map to discover where the voyage fits in the grander geography of the area. I'm a cardinal direction person. Left and right don't mean anything except in a very narrow context. But if you know where north is, you can always get home.

Same with knitting--if a pattern doesn't provide the overall structural context of a garment, I don't bother with it, because then I can't make modifications. And eventually, when the modifications surpass the pattern, the garment becomes something completely original. Imperfections can be incorporated into your work. (Wrong turns can be made right, without backtracking.) I'm not sure if the metaphor holds, but you see what I mean.

Second discovery: I'm far more confident with crocheting than with knitting even though I hardly do it any more. Time and experience matter after all. That one seems pretty self-evident, but I didn't figure it out until today.

Question for the Public

Given my propensity to start and start projects and leave them unfinished, and given that my dearest MAP is a furniture-builder when he's not doing his real job, and given that I hope (expect) him to build us some lovely furniture for the house we just bought, am I being hypocritical if I get on his case about starting and starting and starting carpentry projects and not finishing them?

Am I?

heh heh.

I did happen to finish my blue Japel shrug from Fitted Knits, but at the very same moment, started the diamond scarf out of Wenlan Chia's Twinkle's Big City Knits. I seem to maintain this stasis of 4-6 projects going at any one time. And yet this seems okay with me. Given that I'm knitting. And knitting is (1) small, (2) relatively inexpensive (ha!), and (3) not something I expect to be eating dinner on.

No. Not hypocritical. But I'm open to others' opinions on the matter.

May Showers

Here's what must happen this week:

1. Save The Date cards must be sent Thursday because my dear MAP asked me to marry him 2 weeks ago, and apparently people send TWO invitations to weddings these days, not just one.

2. Dissertation must be defended on Friday morning so that I can take my new job at the fancy state university this fall without a hitch.

3. House must be packed because I close at the end of the month. (I. Have. Not. Started.)

So now, a question for my readers: How much knitting has happened this week?

a. A lot.

b. A humongous amount.

c. Like, so much it could cover Mount Everest.

d. Where is Dr. Fibersmarts? All I see is a huge pile of yarn. Wait. Is that pile of yarn breathing?

Exactly.