In case you’re thinking about holiday gifts already…

There’s a new site for craft items that should never have been made: Regretsy. Crocheted toilet paper roll, anyone? How about a Christmas nativity featuring meerkats?

I’m going to skip the holiday gift guide this year, because Regretsy has you covered.

Big League Chew is Gross (a dyeing project)

We've all been there: the big yarn purchase that you later regret, because the color is crazy, or the texture is weird, but in the moment you think, for example, this is awesome, this pepto-pink, lavender, grape-purple variegated lace yarn.

Seriously?

I'm having strong doubts about strongly-variegated lace yarn in general, because it seems to detract from the lace work. But this knitpicks gossamer, colorway "sweet peas," is the most vomitous colorway I've ever worked with.

It looks like that gum from my childhood, that came in "pink" and "purple" flavors--dump two pouches of Big League Chew on the table, swirl it all together and you get...this horrible yarn.

Something had to be done.

So I snipped the working yarn of my Zimmerman pi shawl; I unscrewed the needle tips and put on the caps of my knitpicks options needles; I wound all of the unknitted yarn of this colorway onto my swift to make two long hanks. I dropped the half-knitted shawl and the two hanks in the dyepot with a bunch of raspberry blue Koolaid and cyan food coloring.

It came out great. Thank god.

I'm still not sure about the variegation with the pi shawl though, because the ever-increasing diameter causes the colors to pool in not-so-awesome ways. I might end up dyeing the final product a darker color. But the other 1500 yards I have of this colorway look great, and will make a good rectangular shawl or baby clothes.

Book Review: Ugliest Sweaters in the World, with Some Nice Surprises

Angela ffrench's Knitting and Design for Mohair (circa 1980) found its way into my hands at a recent used book store jaunt. The book caught my attention with its breathtakingly hideous sweaters. Maybe the extra f in ffrench is for ffugly?

Exhibit A: The Cover Shot. In some ways, this book must have been ahead of its time. It was only published in 1980, but it has that 80s look *down*--big hair, baggy sweater, skinny pants/leggings. I had some pretty crazy get-ups in the 80s (including a superbrite yellow version of this type of outfit), but somehow I feel like even I would've thought this cowl neck AND fair isle AND bright blue and red AND mohair sweater was taking the trend a little too far. I hope.

Exhibit B: For those of you have been waiting with bated breath for a pattern for a ginormous bath robe, I have your solution. This particular model seems to love her robe so much that she can't wait for nightime to wear it. In fact, the sleeves lead me to wonder whether this pattern could double for a graduation gown? If so, forget ordering the $500+ academic regalia I'm supposed to have as a professor, I'm knitting my own, baby! I just need approximately 5000 yards of navy blue mohair, and some velvet patches. (And I'll use this tam pattern).

Exhibit C: Don't you long for the days when mothers and daughters dressed alike? Due to the wonders of mohair, we could all wear sweaters large enough to hide our figure flaws or perhaps a small goat for extra warmth.

Ok, so the sweaters are sh*teous, but Knitting and Design for Mohair surprised me with the following:

1) A "build a sweater" section that includes pages and pages of sweater bits to mix and match--bodies, sleeves, collars, welts, cuffs, and so on. I think I'll be using the third chapter a lot--it has collars, cuffs, welts, and extras. I don't know what welts are, but some of these things could be useful if you leave out the 80s hair:

2) A complete mohair sitchionary. Even if mohair sweaters don't come back into vogue anytime soon, it never hurts to have some extra stitch ideas lying around.

3) A fair isle pattern dictionary, which might also come in handy. There's 9 pages of this stuff.
All in all, I'd highly recommend this book, both for its comedic appeal (hindsight is 20/20 of course), and for the useful design features. There are currently 35 used copies on Amazon--better buy them up because this book's out of print!

On Ugly Sweaters

Jordynn and I are talking over knitting at the moment and we have come to a conundrum.

Let me approach the conundrum via simile.

You know how your friend with the ugly kids thinks her kids are just gorgeous, simply because they are her kids? As though her act of creation has blinded her to the irrefutable fact that her kids are ugly?

I'm having a funny feeling that the sweaters I knit are actually ugly, and that I would never wear them if I didn't knit them. Then, I start getting this horrible feeling that I'm walking around in ugly sweaters and that I can't tell that they are ugly.

I usually have fabulous fashion sense. I can look at a fashion trend that blinds other people because of its trendiness and simply say, "Wow, is that ugly."

E.g. Uggs boots with mini-skirts or on anyone that isn't an Australian surfer; wool short-shorts with tights in winter, especially the kind with the stupid buttons on the front like a Bavarian child would wear and make you ask "what's with the lederhosen"?; the resurgences of leggings a la Lindsay Lohan.

Wow. Hideous.

But then, what's with me presuming that my hand-knits are cool just because they're my handknits? That's just a logical fallacy. Hand-knit does not yield coolness.

In fact, most often it's just the opposite.

What else would explain this?

Recycled Yarn Afghan (-in-progress), Part 1

My current Thursday night crochet project (that's the night I watch television: Grey's Anatomy; and The Office if I start at 8pm; and Men In Trees if I finish at 11pm) is an afghan that I'm making predominantly out of recycled yarn. This is a long process because as I run out of yarn, I have to make more.


In trying to keep color aesthetics in mind, I've kept the pattern simple: fans and double-crochets on alternating rows, colors blocked by black. The black is yarn I purchased, the blue is 2/3 recycled yarn and 1/3 purchased yarn (recycled cotton thicked with a strand of baby yarn in blue).


The next color will be a dark red, a combination of yarns from two different recycled sweaters. Then back to blue again. In between each color, as you can see, is one row of black fans. I'm hoping that 75% of this afghan (at minimum) will be recycled yarn. It's very warm, and funky looking.