"Fertility"

[post by katie, by the way]

I'm having trouble getting pregnant--along with all of my best friends, it seems.

What a load of sh*t does American society hand to a woman who has trouble getting pregnant. It doesn't matter how many beautiful things I create with my hands or with my mind, if I can't create something with my uterus then I'm not "fertile," not "creative," and generally a failure as wife and a woman.

Awesome.

Since this tends to be a touchy subject, and since it is highly likely that you know a woman who is having trouble getting pregnant, I decided, as a public service, to create some guidelines for my dear readers.

Here is a list of things to keep in mind when you talk to a friend who is trying to get pregnant.

1. Never tell her she should "eat more," or "fatten up," or "relax," in order to get pregnant.

2. Never tell a woman what she should do in order to get pregnant, unless you are her fertility doctor, or unless she asks you.

3. Never ask a woman who is trying to get pregnant if she is pregnant yet *over email.* This topic merits a phone call, at the very least.

4. If you know a woman is trying to get pregnant, do not ask her if she's pregnant yet. This is a crappy question. Because if she isn't pregnant, she must admit failure in order to answer your question. And if she IS pregnant, she'll tell you if she wants to--you don't need to ask.

5. If you know a woman who is trying to get pregnant (esp. if you know she is having some trouble), rather than asking her if she is pregnant yet, tell her that you are willing to listen if she wants to talk to you about the process.

6. Be prepared for tears. Better yet, welcome them.

7. If you had trouble getting pregnant, and you feel confident enough, share your experiences with others. Dispel any myths that failing to get pregnant means you are "abnormal" or a failure as a person.

Anyone out there want to add to my list? Want to share a story of a stupid thing someone said to you or near you? Want to rant? Yay!